Bye Bye 2008!

Well it's been a pretty good year, had some good times, had some bad times. I'm kinda excited about 2009 but also kind of scared because i don't know how its going to go. Hopefully 2009 yields more in the relationship department cause 2008 vas a VERY dry year. When you can count the number of boyfriends you've had in one year on one hand, that is sad. I'm not going to be like a whore or anything but i think i'll get out there more like give an inch instead of a centimeter LOL. I'm really excited about being able lie about my age for another year!!!! lol yay i'm actually 15(:( ), but since i don't look it i passed for 18 all of 2008, so in 2009 i can hopefully pass for 19 since everyone believed the 18 part. School-wise i don't know what I'm going to change since my grades aren't terrible or anything, but i guess i could socialize more, like talk to people outside of my social circle, join more stuff because since "Into The Woods" is over i really don't have much to do since GSA and the Roundtable only meet monthly. Outside of school i'm going to TRY to volunteer more like at El Centro or something and do more stuff in church because relatively speaking i don't do that much there, just show up, dance, speak on occasion and sing. Well, Here's Looking at you 2008!

New Years resoDUtion

Been thinking a lot lately about what i really want for for my life over the next year. I've decided my New Years resolution will be to be true to myself and to my heart. It feels like I've been deceiving myself about who i really am and who i want to be. I try to not hurt people and be the soft place they can land but it sort of takes a toll on you, you now, the people landing smack dab on top of you all the time. You tend to get crushed. I want to finally not have to worry whether someone is going to kill someone else just because i'm not there to soften the blows. I want to know that i'll be free to be who am i no matter where i am, and trust me, being who I am where I'm from is not as easy as it sounds. You live in the Bible belt there's a lot of stuff you just can't express. No one seems to take the hint, especially my family. I mean, i do alot of stuff to at least give them hints but no one seems to listen, i mean GOSH i change up my style of movies, i joined clubs, joined sites all this stuff but they never seem to really get it. I mean, if you were my parent wouldn't you at least wonder about my sudden interest in "The L word"? well whatever. I've used far to many 'I's' in this entry so i think im done now

Idiotic Prejudiced theater Teacher

My theater teacher is one of the most idiotic prejudiced men i have ever met!!!! my God i didn't know such an idiot existed!!!! Ok here's what happened. In theater class we have to do this stupid shit play thing or whatever and he told us to find five African-American Females ( this is an all black class, by the way) because he didn't think any of us could 'play white', and of course, me being my racially proud self had to take him to the woodshed for saying something so racially insensitive. I mean, come on now, you have a class full of women of african descent but you say something that blatantly racist. I asked him verbatim how do you play white? like what's the difference between playing white and black??? i mean people have done shit in blackface for so long its about damn time. we should be able to play anyone we want. to which he responded 'blah blah blippity blah blah blah shit blah'

New Posting of Famous Poems!

I've decided that as an inspiration to me, im going to start posting famous poems/quotes!!! Here's the first:

How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways,

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

for the ends of Being and ideal Grace

I love thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight

I love thee freely as men strive for right

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith

i love thee with a love i seemed to lose

with my lost saints, i love thee with the breath

Smiles, tears, all of my life! and if God choose

i shall but love the better after death

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Inspiring, isn't it?

Into The Woods Over, I Can Finally Sleep!!!!!!!

I'm  happy "into the woods" is over, but then I'm kinda not. I'll miss all the people i worked with but i'll still be able to see them in classes or something. I finally get to get my hair done YAY!!! im getting it done in tree braids. i know this might seem rather trivial but you try not having your hair done for two months when your used to getting it done whenever you want. its really hard. Well, i haven't had my phone for 3 weeks now(mega tear), but I'm surviving lol

The Term African- American

ok let me clear this subject right now. i am sick and tired of people trying to be 'politically correct' and incorrectly defining us. i am not african american. My mother is not african and neither is my father. they are both of african descent. It annoys me that all black people are called african american, I mean there are Caribbean americans who are black,Latinos who are black and even Europeans who are black. so in closing ( lol i digs that), i am saying here and now that i am not African american, i am an american of african descent.

Bitch

I'm so freaking pissed off!!!! These bezzies are actually insinuating that i actually messed with some boy at my friend's uncle's house!!!  gotdamnit stupid people piss me the hell off. I'm not stupid, rude or disrespectful so i don't know why they think id actually do some crap like that. God they both piss me off... especially the old one known as my mother shes the worst. i mean damn im not the whore of the family as everyone knows but whatever...

Late Blog Post

I’m bored as hell, there’s nothing to do, and my blog writing was interrupted for an hour unfortunately. I was hanging out with this guy and now he has gone upstairs and left me down here because apparently he ‘doesn’t have all day’. I mean he’s cute but its annoying me that he doesn’t really seem to want to connect with me on an intellectual level, which is upsetting seeing as I’m a very intellectual person. He listens somewhat but he doesn’t seem to take what I say into consideration. But whatever. My stomach hurts like fuck and I’m not in the mood anymore to really argue with anyone. I’m irked out of my brain right now. As much as I hate to admit it I do want him to come back down. LOL I wish the ‘hood’ could’ve gone upstairs so at least I could have got me some valuable make out time. But oh well I suppose it wasn’t meant for today. Got damnit all to hell. Damn next time I’ll keep my mouth shut until after the kissing initiates LOL. Ha-ha I crack myself up. I think I might write another poem later but who knows, I’ve nothing else to do. I don’t think he likes my outspoken-ness, oh well if not he can take a flying leap im sure I can find someone cuter who is just as smart or smarter than him who will listen to my bullshit even when I’m wrong and agree with me all the way. Damn it that pisses me off… Omg I felt the rush! He’s such a sweet guy meaning that all the stuff that I have written before the ellipses was pure de crap LOL. He actually did listen to me it was very pleasing LOL. I think he does like me. God I hope so. Omg I’m smiling! I want to freaking giggle I’m so happy. I mean we didn’t kiss or anything but it was better! I mean when he touched me I felt a shock run through my entire body!!!! Oh god, what if that was just all a ploy to spit game at me? Jesus I hope not. Earlier I made a very male comment by saying I should have only used him for make out time, what an idiot I was! He seems like so much more than that, but on the other hand so did other people and look what they turned out to be… oh but forget that. Maybe for once I can be happy with a guy I’m with and not just with him because he’s there like most of the guys I’ve been with. Nope never mind he still has a girlfriend, which he is probably still very much in love with. FUCK ME…

Stuff

I actually went on a field trip today!! it was so wonderful. Like i haven't been on a field trip since like 7th grade and I'm a 10 grader now so you do the math lolz. I actually wrote a play today! i think about writing a one act for the January Show. i don't know what ill call it though. I think ill give it a lesbian premise, like a forbidden love thing. oh, i think i might be interested in someone and i think they're interested in me, but the downside is that i think they have a girlfriend which automatically puts a damper on my findings lol but oh well. thats basically it so over and out!

State Of Pissiness

I'm so annoyed lately, people are really pissing me off just for shit reasons. I'm just not having a good day today. my coffee was too sugary, i was almost late to school and now I'm in spanish being highly upset about my poor teachers crap accent. i mean its like really really bad. i mean she knows the grammar stuff but when it comes down to the speaking part she can't do it. oh well. Unfortunately i have to do a freaking oral for la República Dominicana and i have to do research for it which sucks. like the speaking part is fine cause i mean i speak the language but the researching and talking about taking a trip to a place I've never even been to is where the issue comes in. Well i guess i better finish my research now

over and out!

New Poem

Beloved

My angel
My heart yearns for your love
As my body for your touch
Your beauty mesmerizes me
And your presence enthralls my very being

I would do anything for your love.
Travel to the ends of the earth,
Give up everything I own,
Anything just to feel your touch

Please do not dismiss me as infatuated
Or as simply besotted,
For my love is true.
Its depth farther than the ocean
And its breadth greater than the sky

Darling, please forsake not my love
Don’t condemn me to the perpetual sorrow
And the agonizing loneliness that will beset me
If you refuse my passions

A life without your love
Is a flower with no sunlight,
A star with no sky,
A bird with no wings

Beloved, death is far less chastisement
Than living with the knowledge
That you do not love me as I love you

Reject me not, dearest
Adore me as I adore you
Permit my mind to rest
And my soul to be tranquil

Bored...

I'm in Spanish class, being boreder than bored, my Spanish teacher speaks Spanish like a gringa y me irrita lol. but oh well. today is looking to be a very long day. i have to stay for freaking musical rehearsal and I'm tired as is it. i finally got the tetanus booster and i thought it was going to hurt like crap and I'm like praying and asking the lady to give me time to breathe and she just freaking pokes me and i didn't even know id gotten the freaking shot! so there i was, looking like a big wuss in the doctors office,yeah.... Oooh i got some really good coffee today and normally id be dome with it by now and im not!! i want to savor all its coffeeliciousness lol. i guess its time for me to get back to work now lolz, l8rs!

Poem- Mi Amor

Mi Amor
How I love you
Night and Day
It’s your face that plagues my heart and mind
Every waking moment
Living with the truth
That it is wrong for me to love you

Mi Amor
How I need you
The sight of you is what keeps me sane
You are as beautiful as the sun
And as mysterious as the shining moon
Your smile sets my heart ablaze
And your eyes draw me into a sea of wonder and delight

Mi Amor
How you hurt me
I know you can never love me
If you would we’d be shunned from the world
Living as vagabonds traveling the road of life
Left as pariahs in society’s eyes
I will forever love you from afar
I’ll never plague your heart and mind with the knowledge of my love
Nor will I risk losing what we already have

Mi Amor
How I love you
My heart will be yours until the stars fall and the sun dies
Forever will I love you
And forever will my love for you inflame my soul

Mi Amor
How I want you
I know you would never be content with me
So I’ll love you from the shadows
And from the depths of anonymity

Sad Sad day in history

OMG I AM ABOUT TO SERIOUSLY CRY!!! my cousins had to leave school and I'm going to miss her so much! T if your reading this, you're my best friend and favoritist cousin and i love ya to death. Goodness these teachers are so damn stupid! why would you kick someone out of school for something silly and pidly??? please think next time. i don't think its fair that they are kicking so many kids out for i guess what they're calling 'computer violations'. i don't think that we should get punished for such stupid and menial things, but whatever I'm only 15 what do i know? I think that if they're going to trip this hard of stuff that people are just playing about that we might as well not have the computers at all. This is just not right and its a travesty on the part of school administrators and other educators alike. My mother wants me to go see the Apple technician guy to kind out why my disc drive isn't working, but there is no way in satan's hot steaming hell that I'm going to see him, so I'm going to stall and extemporize until the end of school so i don't have to hear her mouth. People are once again annoying me. i just got through taking the science test and I'm sitting here praying i did a good job, cause i like REALLY need the points and can't afford to fail this class, hell i can't afford to fail any classes. IM GOING TO GE T MY PERMIT! YAY YAY ME! lolz. i finally get to drive which totally kicks ass. but since now I'm digressing i think its time to end this session

Besos!

La Traviesa Cubana

Bullshit Life

I'm so pissed off!! OMG this weekend has gone mega hectic. Me and my bf ended up not being able to go to the movies, i was gonna fight this chick who decided she was going to mess with my sisters man(which i was not allowed to do), and i lost mega loads of sleep. Lots of people are being fake these days but i frankly don't give two flying rats asses, no i don't give 2 flying rats asses or 3 monkey turds, its like so what bitch, i don't fucking care if you want to act fake or not.That shit doesn't faze me in the slightest. I think people think i should be nicer, which is never going to happen. Also, they expect me to listen to them bitch. It's like 'Oh, i care I'll pay attention to you' NO!! of course i don't care about your ass and I'm not going to listen to you so get the hell out of my face, stupid shits. I must seem like a real bitch but that doesn't matter, bitch is my middle name. I'm tired of coming to school, I'm ready for summer time to come. This summer I'm losing weight and being a major pool goddess seriously. I think i can get thinner pretty easily since I'm pretty young. Now my boyfriend is sitting here reading my blogs and pinching my nose like a grandma (josh thats you!!! lolz). but oh well since I'm getting ready to get out of school i think im going to end this session

Besos!!

LaTraviesaCubana